31 May Thank you, Patty, for walking so many of us home

Thank you, Patty, for walking so many of us home.

By Susan Parris, Executive Director

In my twenty-seven years at Brattleboro Area Hospice, I have met many exceptional volunteers and staff.   In a culture where most of us step back when faced with the pain of others, it is a rare person who steps toward death and grief to help. I am not exaggerating to say that each day I am touched and impressed by those at BAH who support our clients who are dying and grieving.  There are many people past and present in BAH who are exceptional in this way, and today I am moved to honor one of them who is leaving our staff, Patty Dunn, our Hospice Program Coordinator.

Every once in a while, you meet someone who is ‘born’ to do what they are doing. They have a gift, and the stars align to put them in the right place at the right time, allowing them to embrace it, share it, shine it forth.  Spend time with Patty, and you will know that Patty was born to be a companion with people at the end of their life.  

I first met Patty many years ago, when she was the Executive Director at a sister non-medical hospice in Middlebury, Hospice Volunteer Services. She was an amazing combination of wisdom, humor, energy and especially heart—a big wide-open heart that welcomes whoever comes near.  But more important than those qualities, Patty exemplifies a key practice deeply needed in hospice work: presence. 

The practice of presence is the premier ingredient in all human interaction.  It is a rare thing to be with another who is really present. All of us move through the world flooded with feelings and thoughts, and it is a conscious practice to calm that inner cacophony and give full attention. Often when someone is talking, instead of quieting our mind to be fully present, we are thinking of what we’ll say next, concerned about what is happening for ourselves physically or emotionally, distracted by the surroundings, or increasingly, by our phone.  Being present makes or breaks our personal relationships, our care of others, even the function of our entire society. 

Patty continually practices deep presence, not only discovering and addressing our clients’ universal needs (pain control, caregiver respite, etc.) but their individual needs (bigger concerns such as where a pet will go after their death or where they can live now that they have declining health, to smaller concerns such as what kind of Gatorade is loved by a client in a nursing home).  Each of these needs–big and small–make up the unique individual before her, and in every instance, Patty listens deeply and acts to ensure that what is possible becomes reality.  Witnessing Patty do this practice again and again has given me a profound respect for her ability to truly connect with and become a loving companion to each person she has shepherded through the gate to the unknown: Each received the special gift of her presence in their life.  

Ram Dass has a beautiful quote: “We are all just walking each other home.”  Thank you, Patty, for walking so many of our family members, friends and neighbors home.  Their journey was transformed by your loving companionship.

Note: Depending on the pandemic situation, we will be holding an outdoor volunteer appreciation party in the fall where our hospice community can connect, and thank each of the staff, including Patty, who have left BAH during the pandemic.