29 Feb Reflections on a Vigil

By Erica Breen, Hospice Volunteer Coordinator

Recently, Brattleboro Area Hospice volunteers completed a vigil with a client who lived alone.  A vigil is when we offer a comforting presence over the final hours and days of a person’s life, while they are actively dying. 

               In the late afternoon, Ruth and I visited the client at her home in a senior apartment building.  We spoke to her gently, letting her know that some volunteers were coming later in the evening to sit with her so she wouldn’t be alone.  Although she appeared asleep, she moved and made a sound when Ruth spoke these words.

               After Hallowell sang their beautiful sweet harmonies, we sat quietly for some time with our client.  Later, returning to the office, we continued checking the online vigil signup sheet, watching the shifts fill with the names of both new and experienced volunteers.  Every time I saw another name added to the schedule, I was freshly moved that these volunteers were willingly offering their hours, evenings and nights to sit with our client through her final days. 

               Once our vigil started at 6 pm that Tuesday, Brattleboro Area Hospice volunteers were sitting with her continuously, reading to her, singing, and providing a soothing presence.  They were answering phone calls from the client’s far-away children, then holding the phone to her ear so she could hear them express their love.

               When I took a shift on Wednesday evening, our client was sleeping peacefully.  After the nurse and neighbor left for the night, we had some quiet time, and when the next volunteer appeared to take my place at the vigil his presence was solid and comforting.  Going out in the cold dark to my car, I was freshly grateful for such dedicated volunteers who were taking the following shifts through the night.

               Then, in the early afternoon of Thursday, we got a call from the volunteer who was sitting with our client telling us that she had died.  We breathed a sigh, of relief, of sadness, of gratitude, of renewal.  There are so many feelings at a time like this:  sadness for an ending, gladness for the relief of suffering, hopes for a smooth passage, relief and sorrow that that stage of our work is done.

               A week later, some of the vigil volunteers gathered to honor our shared client, and to share reflections with each other.  One volunteer shared about reaching a new level of compassion through sitting and reading aloud to the client from her book, noticing and emphasizing the words she had underlined perhaps weeks or months before. Some spoke of studying the many pictures of family and loved ones, which had helped them feel connected to her life.  The volunteer who had been present for our client’s death shared offering solace and a hug to the client’s neighbor, who had helped attend to her and been a close friend.  Volunteers shared a common sense of gratitude for the honor of sitting with her, and respect for her determination to die at home and her success in doing so.

               Overall, Brattleboro Area Hospice provided 41 nearly continuous hours of vigil support.  Twelve different volunteers participated in the vigil, several of them returning for additional shifts, and two stalwart folks stayed for the overnight shift, supporting this person through perhaps the most difficult hours of her passage.  It was an honor to provide this accompaniment, which made it possible for our client to die at home as she had wished.  Thanks to all who worked together for this successful outcome.

To request a vigil, call 802-257-0775, ext. 102-Ruth, or ext. 112-Erica.