01 Sep News from Experienced Goods: September 2023

Listening and Helping by Jennie Reichman

I love it when another writer inspires me. As a songwriter, I’ve often listened to a song performed by a musician I admire and felt a switch flip inside me, like an engine starting up and being flooded with fuel. Suddenly I have access to ideas, words and phrases that were not there before, teased to life by another artist’s work. I would bet this is also true for dancers, actors, painters, sculptors, any artist. The soul-stirring beauty of someone else’s gifts wakes up that slumbering creative dragon within. I recently read a piece written by Tristan Roberts in the Brattleboro Reformer that had this effect on me. Tristan’s essay was about ghosts, both within and without, but on a deeper level it was about listening and helping, hearing what other people need that they are not putting into words, and small acts of help (both giving and receiving) that can be the antidote to hopelessness or despair. Like Jung’s idea that every aspect of a dream is an aspect of one’s self, Tristan posits that ghosts can be fractured, misunderstood parts of ourselves struggling to be recognized, hungry to be whole and to thrive.

For us at Experienced Goods, listening and helping make up pretty much every hour of every day at the store. We don’t just sell stuff, we listen to donors’ stories about what they are donating and to shoppers’ stories about how that vase, dress, figurine, book, lamp, piece of jewelry reminds them of their childhoods. We listen to wedding plans and retirement plans, travel plans and moving plans. As a staff, we listen to each other. We talk about our lives, dreams, regrets, hopes, and as a result become a better team. We might help a shopper find the perfect cake pan or help them locate that favorite jacket they did not mean to donate and are bereft without. The store itself radiates help: Almost every day I hear someone say they come to Experienced Goods simply to walk around the store as a form of therapy, that just being there brings them a sense of calm and equilibrium.

Help at the shop doesn’t always arrive on two legs. A few of our regular customers come with dogs attached, and their presence in the store invariably shifts everyone’s mood toward joy. Wagging tails and smiling doggy faces are a tonic like no other, and those dogs can count on a lot of love coming their way when they visit. One dog in particular I think of as the canine Dalai Lama: Chico exudes love, joy, acceptance and living in the moment, greets everyone who approaches him with gentle sweetness, and lives for belly rubs. The words, “Chico’s here!” brings everyone out from the back sorting room for a Chico fix, even when he’s been swimming in the river and smells a little funky.

As I write, the seasons are changing from summer to fall, a transition that is often bittersweet and a little hard for many of us. As Tristan asks in his essay, what do we and those around us need to thrive, at this and every time of year?

Listening and helping, woven into the fabric of Experienced Goods and Brattleboro Area Hospice, are a great place to start.